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ToxTeaching

The attempt and desire to poison children's minds with motivation and interest in learning for their future.

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My current challenge: The Angry Child **Update**

After posting about my angry student, I decided to call home. His mother gave me some interesting information. It seems he felt I was picking on him because I laughed when another student called him a name. Now, if you have read any of my posts, you will hopefully see that I could never ever do something like this.

I tried to explain to his mother that I would never want to hurt a child like that. If I ever laughed at a mean comments toward a child, it was unintentional and probably misunderstood. Her response was that she was glad her husband came out here to deal with it, because she would not have been able to keep her cool. I am at a loss. I apologized a million times and told her I would like to meet with him one-on-one to apologize. She demanded his step dad be there when I do it.

So now I look forward to this afternoon's meeting when I anticipate getting yelled at and berated for doing something I didn't do, even though I am trying to make it right.

By the way, my principal's solution is to have him go to ISS instead of sitting in my class after our state testing is over. On one hand, I feel like that will give him the space he wants. On the other hand, is that acknowledging that ISS is a better place than my class?

Posted: Monday, May 12, 2008 8:23 AM by ToxGalena

Comments

WoofWoof said:

If I were you, I would find him as soon as possible and give him an honest apology. Even if you didn't mean to, his feelings were hurt by your actions. (As unintentional as they were.) I've stuck my foot in my mouth before with kids and there's NOTHING worse. When I realize it, I IMMEDIATELY go to that child and tell them flat-out that I owe them an apology - and then give it.

As far as the ISS thing goes, I'd fight to keep him in your class. He already thinks you don't like or respect him. Sending him out of your class will only confirm those feelings. Maybe give him the option, but let him know that your class won't be complete if he's not there.

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that there is NOTHING more important that the relationships you develop with your students in middle school. Nothing. If they know (not feel, not think, not assume, but KNOW) you respect, care for, and believe in them, they will soar.

# May 12, 2008 3:53 PM

Kiri said:

That sounds like something that happened to me when I was student teaching.  I was in charge of the classroom for 6 weeks (long story), and kept having trouble with this one boy.  Finally I got hauled into a meeting with the principal, the boy, and his parents.  He had told them that he thought I was racist, and didn't like him because he was black.

Turns out that once, early on, I had totally lost my cool and told the class to "shut up," and he thought that I was talking to him personally.

Losing my cool like that was terrible, I know, and I apologized to the class immediately, but I had no idea he perceived it as directed at him only.  The meeting actually turned out well, as we got that cleared up, and his parents were very nice about the whole thing.

Good luck to you!

# May 13, 2008 8:03 AM
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